Monday, February 27, 2012

Jewish Humor: Life is Life

Monday Humor

Here are this week's Jewish jokes, each on a slice of life.


A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.

"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."

"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."

"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian Jews."

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a rabbi, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the Torah more, get your hair cut and we'll talk about it."

After about a month, the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss the use of the car. They again went to the father's study where his father said, "Son, I've been very proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied the Torah diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut!"

The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Abraham had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Moses had long hair...." 
To which the Rabbi replied, "Yes, and they WALKED everywhere they went!"

A Jewish mother is worrying day in and day out about her poor son, far away in college: "Oy veh will he ever find a nice girl,... will he have enough to eat,...will he be cold at night?" While worrying she decides to at least buy and send him two warm flannel shirts. 
A couple of months later he travels back to New York to see his mother. After many hours in a bus he arrives erev Shabat at her door and thinks, "Wait, maybe I should wear one of the shirts she sent me! Surely this will make her happy!" He puts on the shirt, rings the door bell and his mother opens the door. "Jankel!" 
"Mammele!" "Jankel, I am sooooo happy to see you! And you even wear one of the shirts I sent you! But tell me one thing: You didn't like the other shirt?!?!"

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