Monday, June 11, 2012

Jewish Humour: The Old Folks

Monday Humor

Much of the Jewish humour on this site can be found in this wonderful book: The Encyclopedia of Jewish Humor, compiled and edited by Henry D. Spalding.

This week's humour is focused on the Old Folks:

A rabbi was called to a Miami Beach nursing home to perform a wedding. An anxious old man met him at the door. The rabbi sat down to counsel the old man and asked several questions:

“Do you love her?”

The old man replied, “I guess.”

“Is she a good Jewish woman?”

“I don’t know for sure,” the old man answered.

“Does she have lots of money?” asked the rabbi.

“I doubt it.”

“Then why are you marrying her?” the rabbi asked.

“She can drive at night,” the old man said.

A sixty year old man went to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, “You’re in terrific shape. There`s nothing wrong with you. You have the body of a thirty-five year old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?”

The sixty year old responded, “Who said he was dead?”

The doctor was surprised and asked, “How old is he, and is he very active?”

The sixty year old responded, “Well, he is eighty-two years old and he still goes skiing three times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer.”

The doctor couldn’t believe it. “Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?”

The sixty year old responded again, “Who said he was dead?”

The doctor was astonished. He said, “You mean to tell me you are sixty years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?”

The sixty year old said, “He goes skiing at least once a season and surfing once a week during the summer. Not only that,” said the patient, “my grandfather is 106 years old, and next week he is getting married again.”

The doctor said, “At 106 years old, why on earth would your grandfather want to get married?”

His patient looked up at the doctor and said, “Who said he wanted to? His mother put on tremendous pressure.”

Sara Rosenbaum, age 102, visits her lawyer.

“Rosenberg! I want a divorce!”

“But my dear Mrs. Rosenbaum! You’ve been married for eighty-three years. How can this be, after such a long married life?”

Mrs. Rosenbaum: “Enough is enough!!!”

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