Monday, June 18, 2012

Jewish Humour: Tzedakah


Monday Humor

Much of the Jewish humour on this site can be found in this wonderful book: The Encyclopedia of Jewish Humor, compiled and edited by Henry D. Spalding.

This week's humour is focused on Tzedakah (צדקה), often translated as charity, but its actual meaning is righteousness:

Mr. Cohen gives $1 every week to a particular beggar in his town. One week he sees the beggar and gives him only 25 cents. The beggar is indignant and complains, "Why did you give me only 25 cents?"

Mr. Cohen replies: "My business was bad last week."

The beggar responds: "So you had a bad week and I have to suffer?

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A man went fundraising to a wealthy Jewish philanthropist.

As he spoke to the philanthropist his voice breaking with emotion, “'I'd like to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this neighborhood. The father is dead, the mother is too sick to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned out into the cold streets unless someone pays their $1000 in outstanding rent.”

'Terrible!” exclaimed the philanthropist. “May I ask who you are?”

The man wiped his eyes with his handkerchief and sobbed, “I'm their landlord.”

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"Rabbi," says the visitor, "I work for the Internal Revenue Service. Do you have a member of this congregation named David Tepper?

"I know him well."

"Mr. Tepper claims that he donated ten thousand dollars to the synagogue, and I'm here to make sure he did."

"I don't know if he did," says the rabbi, "but I can tell you one thing: he will!"

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