Monday, September 3, 2012

Jewish Humour: The Fools

Monday Humor

Much of the Jewish humour on this site can be found in this wonderful book: The Encyclopedia of Jewish Humor, compiled and edited by Henry D. Spalding. 

This week's humour is focused on The Fools, or they are called in Yiddish, Nars
Nöte: Technically, the plural is naronim, but I am using American Yinglish.)

The people of Chelm were worriers. So they called a meeting to do something about the problem of worry. A motion was duly made and seconded to the effect that Yossel, the cobbler, be retained by the community as a whole to do its worrying, and that his fee be one ruble per week.

The motion was about to carry, all speeches having been for the affirmative, when one sage propounded the fatal ques­tion: "If Yossel earned a ruble a week, what would he have to worry about?"
Motke Habad was once summoned by the local Polish landowner and told to go to the fair in a neighboring town to purchase a French poodle for the baroness.

"Certainly!" cried Motke, all eagerness. "And how much is your Excellency willing to spend for a first-class French poodle?

"Up to twenty rubles.

"Out of the question!" Motke snapped. "For a really first-class French poodle one must pay at least-at least-fifty rubles!"

The Noblemen tried to dispute this, but Motke was so positive that the other finally yielded. Handing over the fifty rubles, he told Motke to hurry off, whereupon the schlemiel became covered with confusion and stammered:

"Yes, your Excellency, I go, I go, b-but please, your Excellency, what exactly is a French poodle?"

Rabbi Mendel was one day walking along a very narrow street, when he came face to face with a rival rabbi.
The street was too narrow for the two to pass.

The rival, pulling himself up to his full height, said haughtily, "I never make way for fools."

Smiling, Rabbi Mendel stepped aside and said, . . ."I always do."