Monday, August 19, 2013

Jewish Humour: School Days

Monday Humour

Here are this week’s Jewish jokes, each with a focus on school and education:

First Day
A proud young mother sees off her son to school on the first day.

“Be a good boy, my boobaleh! Be careful and think of mummy, sweetest! Come right home on the bus, honey! Mummy loves you very much, baby!”

At the end of the day, she’s waiting for the bus and sweeps him into her arms. “And what did my love learn on his first day at school?”

“I learned that my name is David.”

Trouble at School
Hyman, you had better come over here right away. There has been some trouble with your son.”

“Vy, vot’s heppened?”

“I can’t discuss it over the phone, you had better come.”

So Hyman arrives at the school.

“I’m very sorry to tell you but we are expelling your son; we can’t tolerate his sort of behaviour here.”“But vy, vot’s he done?”

“Well, to be quite frank, we found him playing with his genitals.”

“But dat’s not such a terrible ting, some of my best friends are genitals.”

A Jew At Catholic School
A Jewish student was doing well in school in all subjects except for Math. So his parents decide to send him to a private Catholic school.

While there the boy came home from school and studied every day. At the end of the marking period the boy got straight A's. So his parents asked him, “What motivated you to do so well in school?”

He replied, “When I saw that guy nailed to a plus sign I knew they weren't fooling around!”

Getting Your Stories Straight
There were four teenagers who played hooky one morning.

Upon coming to class in the afternoon, they reported that their lateness was because their car got a flat tire. 

“That’s fine,” the teacher said much to the students relief. 

“But there was an oral test this morning which you boys have to make up, so please have a seat and take out a piece of paper. Now for the first question, which tire was flat!