Friday, December 23, 2016

I Am (Still) Waiting

Musings of a Sane Man

“The Maestro says it’s Mozart 
but it sounds like bubble gum 
when you’re waiting 
for the miracle, for the miracle to come.”

Leonard Cohen & Sharon Robinson
Waiting for the Miracle,” The Future (1992)

The Light Sky: What a little light can do/It can move you from a mood blue.
Photo Credit & Source: ©Perry J. Greenbaum, 2016

I am still waiting. I move easily between sadness and busyness, between doing and nothingness
between thought and existence. I am here waiting, without patience, to recall a memory soaked with meaning, and not a healthy momentary pleasure. My Self is not present, when it walks alone,
finding itself in the familiar shadows of yesterday’s unicorn dreams. Who holds the plans for the future? Its promises denied to me, and to all of us, who reside not in this sarcophagus of lavish lineage. We poor ones live for today and anxiously consume all of its offerings, as tiny as a mustard seed. The present is darker still, filled with an abundance of unrequited hope, contained in fleshpots overflowing with promiscuous hunger. I hold no faith and hope for today, or of the many tomorrows, so my weakened hands cling to a past wine-pressed from fables of glorious victory. What can be found in memory are the multitudes of the past, where for me so long ago the myths were told in a language of high Stoic seriousness. I stand beneath LED lights of faithless promise, casting a long shadow on the sitting room of my soul, cursing the proper resting place of the prominent penitent. I, too, long for a restful rest. Where is that peace which passes all understanding? I want to bathe in it. Where are you, Lord? Why do you tarry? איך בין נאָך ווארטן/Ikh bin nokh vartn.

Perry J. Greenbaum, “Notes from the Sixth Floor,” December 2016

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